I was preparing to fail through fear of hurting myself, when - if I'd just put enough juice into the move in the first place I'd have been far safer.
There was three choices -
keep opening out of my somersault preparing to fail and ultimately go nowhere,
Put enough juice into the move and be confident of landing it on my feet or
I can't stand it when I pre-empt failure, so I started standing up out of my skills on trampoline. No matter how scary it was, the feeling of accomplishment on the successful completion of the skill was far more preferable to the feeling of disappointment within myself on knowing that before I'd taken off in the air, I was preparing to land on my hands and knees.
The safety that comes with bailing from committing moves carries a heavy price.
I've got the skills to complete the moves I'm after, which makes it all the more disappointing when I don't even attempt to harness them in order to break through and complete what I set out to achieve.
After being out bouldering today, despite spending most of the time laughing due to banter and wonderful company, I'm left with a heavy feeling of disappointment that I prepared myself to come in short when I could have succeeded.
I didn't even give myself a chance when everything around me was perfect.
Lesson learned... again.